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Monday, February 8, 2016

Abuse is much bigger than hitting.

By: C.A.K.
Beating another, includes emotional and verbal assault, the scars run very deep.

Keep your words mindful of what you really feel about a person. I accept that many people are in severe emotional pain, due to their own past life, however this does not grant anyone permission to pass that pain onto others.

We are all imperfect.

I can tell you every damn day of my life I find myself questioning what's real based on many years of constant verbal beatings. I've never be physically assaulted, but the scars of emotional abuse are extremely deep and affect many aspects of my life even today.

Example: Today I fell up steps. In those seconds after....
in my mind the first words I heard were....

"Slow the Fuck down."
"Are you stupid?"
"Are you dopic, like your dad?"

I saw a head shaking at me disapproving. This all happened the very instant I tripped.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Touched by the spirits of others

I started this post two days ago, with full intentions of letting myself vent on an incident that had happened this past week.   I felt need to release the hurt and anger built up inside me with hopes that it would find the person who inflicted the pain.

And I did!

I wrote about the frustration and for many reasons I didn't Publish it for the world to see.  I slept on it, so to speak.

Here's the most important part of that post.

"As I sit and ponder why I would feel so let down by someone who barely even exists in my life, I can't seem to let it go in my head.  I suppose sometimes the wounds that dig the deepest can come from those that you would least suspect of inflicting such disregard for other human beings.  Most likely because I didn't suspect them of being so heartless."

What I did instead was something I hadn't in quite awhile.  I actually scrolled my Facebook newsfeed, to see what everyone was up to this holiday season.  I don't know what I was really looking for, but I found these two stories, which I will leave you to read.

One of a man who received a letter from his wife who had died two years earlier.  A letter this woman wrote to him to give him her last dying wish once he had moved on.   Go ahead read it, but be warned, be ready to cry

And last, but most importantly
I decided to read an update on Laney, a girl who doesn't live to far from where I am, who is spending her Christmas struggling for her life here on Earth as she fights terminal Cancer.  I have been praying with thousands if not millions for a miracle for her, although I know already that her family has bestowed a miracle upon those reading with their open faith.  My heart felt condolence to the family, I will be continuing to pray for your strength and courage to continue on throught his life until you can be reunited once again with your beautiful girl. 

Laney's families true faith in our Lord God through this time, made me realize that maybe I should be using my page and the views I receive to spread stories with true meaning.    Not to post about my trivial frustrations.

So I leave you with this thought.   Miracles are not always the most obvious of moments, they often are those moments you don't plan and may even barley notice, because the miracle has been bestowed upon those around you.   Thank you to Laney's Family and Schmitz family for guiding me to pray and take my family to the Christmas eve service last night.   Thank you for letting God speak through your stories, although sad you each have a deeper story to share that is so beautiful and grand.

Merry Christmas

May you all see the blessings around you!


Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Guest writer "Coping through Christmas:A mom of very Special family"

With special permission I am sharing this story, written by a dear friend of mine.   She speaks from her heart of the struggles through the holidays as a mom of a special needs children.  She also covers some of the ways she is chosing to cope.   

May you all see your blessings this Christmas & I hope this helps a few of you out there.  


“Merry Christmas!” cries the young woman as she smiles and waves good-bye to me, locking her cheery eyes on my tired and sullen countenance.   I provide a courteous smile and hand gesture, and while turning away to walk back to the van, the word “whatever,” softly slips out of my mouth.  To my surprise, the summary of all that I have been feeling and thinking the past few weeks has betrayed me in one single word.  It now hangs in the air, cold and crisp like the weather.  I certainly don’t check to see who was around me to hear my response, nor do I even care.  My steps become labored as I continue the trek to the van, knowing that what awaits me at home is less pleasant than the short trip to the pharmacy.  My foul mood settles in on me as I drive toward home.  I remind myself that there are just three more days of this happiness pretense of the holidays and then we can all move on.