tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35727974384347223872024-02-20T00:06:44.688-05:00Momma's Not So Silent An unedited look into my world
~ C.A.K.Christy Arlenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572797438434722387.post-91825880626472747332013-12-25T05:36:00.001-05:002013-12-25T05:46:45.241-05:00Touched by the spirits of others<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I started this post two days ago, with full intentions of letting myself vent on an incident that had happened this past week. I felt need to release the hurt and anger built up inside me with hopes that it would find the person who inflicted the pain. <br />
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And I did!<br />
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I wrote about the frustration and for many reasons I didn't Publish it for the world to see. I slept on it, so to speak. <br />
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Here's the most important part of that post.<br />
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<i>"As I sit and ponder why I would feel so let down by someone who barely even exists in my life, I can't seem to let it go in my head. I suppose sometimes the wounds that dig the deepest can come from those that you would least suspect of inflicting such disregard for other human beings. Most likely because I didn't suspect them of being so heartless."</i></div>
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What I did instead was something I hadn't in quite awhile. I actually scrolled my Facebook newsfeed, to see what everyone was up to this holiday season. I don't know what I was really looking for, but I found these two stories, which I will leave you to read.<br />
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One of a man who received a letter from his wife who had died two years earlier. A letter this woman wrote to him to give him her last dying wish once he had moved on. Go ahead read it, but be warned, be ready to cry <a href="http://www.viralnova.com/dead-wife-gift-to-husband/">http://www.viralnova.com/dead-wife-gift-to-husband/</a><br />
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And last, but most importantly<br />
I decided to read an update on Laney, a girl who doesn't live to far from where I am, who is spending her Christmas struggling for her life here on Earth as she fights terminal Cancer. I have been praying with thousands if not millions for a miracle for her, although I know already that her family has bestowed a miracle upon those reading with their open faith. My heart felt condolence to the family, I will be continuing to pray for your strength and courage to continue on throught his life until you can be reunited once again with your beautiful girl. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/teamlaney7">https://www.facebook.com/teamlaney7</a> <br />
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Laney's families true faith in our Lord God through this time, made me realize that maybe I should be using my page and the views I receive to spread stories with true meaning. Not to post about my trivial frustrations. <br />
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So I leave you with this thought. Miracles are not always the most obvious of moments, they often are those moments you don't plan and may even barley notice, because the miracle has been bestowed upon those around you. Thank you to Laney's Family and Schmitz family for guiding me to pray and take my family to the Christmas eve service last night. Thank you for letting God speak through your stories, although sad you each have a deeper story to share that is so beautiful and grand.<br />
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Merry Christmas<br />
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May you all see the blessings around you!<br />
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~Christy <br />
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Christy Arlenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572797438434722387.post-53472022998329258392013-12-24T16:44:00.001-05:002013-12-24T16:44:57.434-05:00Guest writer "Coping through Christmas:A mom of very Special family"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">With special permission I am sharing this story, written by a dear friend of mine. She speaks from her heart of the struggles through the holidays as a mom of a special needs children. She also covers some of the ways she is chosing to cope. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">May you all see your blessings this Christmas & I hope this helps a few of you out there. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">~Christy</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">“Merry Christmas!” cries the young woman as she smiles and waves good-bye to me, locking her cheery eyes on my tired and sullen countenance. I provide a courteous smile and hand gesture, and while turning away to walk back to the van, the word “whatever,” softly slips out of my mouth. To my surprise, the summary of all that I have been feeling and thinking the past few weeks has betrayed me in one single word. It now hangs in the air, cold and crisp like the weather. I certainly don’t check to see who was around me to hear my response, nor do I even care. My steps become labored as I continue the trek to the van, knowing that what awaits me at home is less pleasant than the short trip to the pharmacy. My foul mood settles in on me as I drive toward home. I remind myself that there are just three more days of this happiness pretense of the holidays and then we can all move on. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">I would love to say that when I arrived home something wonderfully magical happened that brought me back to the joys of Christmas, and our family shared a beautiful holiday with genuine smiles and love. But that did not happen. In fact, just as I predicted, the kids were needy, Duane was trying to handle their chaos and also grumpy, and the to-do list only got longer. At that moment, I truly disliked Christmas. When did this happen? How did I get to the point where Christmas is something to endure, something to bare? I know that the holidays add a bit of stress and work within a family, but I don’t quite remember being this bitter about wrapping gifts and putting up a tree, along with all of the other “musts” over this season. At that point, I realized I needed to do some serious evaluation of what I truly wanted for me and my family at Christmas.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Over the years, I began to recognize some of the pieces of our holidays that were more pleasant than others, and those things that really were not all that important to me, but caused me a lot of stress. So, in the spirit of a healthier Christmas, I give you my thoughts on how I began coping through Christmas.</span></i></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Taking time to think about what is important to you during the holidays.</span></i></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">For every nuclear family, there is a wider, broader family system that includes grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, or possibly foster parents, co-workers, and the like. No matter how much I tried to pare down Christmas, there are inevitably increased tasks and greater opportunity to attend parties, concerts, and other scheduled events. The goal then, was to take time to consider the most important aspects of this season that I wanted to hold onto. What is essential for me and my family to stay connected? How can I honor those pieces and create fond memories me and my children? For me, I need our nuclear family to have a Christmas breakfast together. It is the one moment of the season where we can sit down to connect, talk about gifts unwrapped, and plan ahead for the next few days of visits, etc. This takes a little bit of planning ahead of time, but for me, it is worth the extra trip to the grocery store. </span></i></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Evaluating that to-do list and scratch out a few lesser important tasks.</span></i></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">My sister-in-law enjoys dressing up her children for the season. Their outfits are just plain adorable, and their kids love the ribbons in the hair, the grown-up tie and the shiny new shoes. The littlest one absolutely relishes in dresses and flowy clothes. It is a joy to see them at Christmas. My children however, have not appreciated the idea of dressing up, ever, which means they show up some years in sweats, jeans, or t-shirts. To me, they look just as great as my nieces and nephews. This is not an issue that I want to stress over, and honestly it saves us a little bit of money and time. I do make sure I recognize my sister-in-law’s efforts she puts into creating beautiful outfits for her children by “oohing” and “ahhhing” over how cute they really do look, while respecting my choice to relinquish this task.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Making temporary changes</b>.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Let’s face it, our children bring a whole new level of Christmas excitement to our lives. And for those of us with children with extra-special needs, that kind of excitement isn’t necessarily what I was looking forward to. For many children, their needs will increase and decrease and increase again as they age, but at some point in time, life does slow down for them, and families can begin re-visiting some of the traditions that may have been set aside for a few years. In the meantime,I had to consider what changes I could make that honor me, my children, and my larger family system, without creating further stress down the line. Maybe the trip to Grandma’s is a must, but the timing of the visit could vary so that everyone leaves with good memories. In my family, it is a tradition for everyone to show up at the same time at Grandma’s with bags of gifts and lots of food. The presents are feverishly unwrapped, and in about 20 minutes, it’s all over. But, this is a nightmare for my youngest son. Chaos around him only produced chaos inside of him. It was clear that Daniel’s meltdowns were not fun for anyone and it was equally difficult to go against the family tradition of gift chaos, but we made the decision to go an hour early to my parent’s home so Daniel could open his gifts slowly, and with a quiet presence of just his parents, brother, and grandparents. Not only did Daniel benefit from this slight variation, but the whole family enjoyed their time together. Now that he is fourteen, we have been able to go back to “crazy” and participate with the rest of the family.</span></i></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Making permanent changes.</span></i></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">For some families, Christmas is a constant reminder of something tragic that has happened to them or to their child. The holidays are no longer a time to look forward to, rather grief and sorrow encompass the darkening days and increasingly colder weather. For these families, making permanent changes to the holidays may be the best present they can give themselves. Some families have decided to use this time of year to go on vacation. Others have decided that gifts are no longer necessary; instead they help out at a homeless shelter, or give financially to a particular charity. If you are one of these families struggling to get through the holidays, remember to honor the sorrow and the grief you feel. Set aside time to pray, reconnect, sing, cry, or read where you will not be interrupted, whether it is just you, or whether it includes your family. The pain of your tragedy will never be completely gone, but families can learn to respect this incredible loss, and create new memories which include a different kind of joy.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">May you be blessed with peace and joy this Christmas,</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Sheri"</span></i></div>
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Christy Arlenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572797438434722387.post-8404534735597714992013-05-17T10:39:00.000-04:002013-07-09T19:09:07.329-04:00The Advocate in each and everyone of us!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">By: </span><span style="color: #990066; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618" target="_blank">C.A.K.</a></span><br />
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Until recently I'd never thought of myself as an advocate. I suppose I never thought about what an advocate truly is. <span style="color: #990000;"> So lets talk about it. </span><br />
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What is an advocate?<br />
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<a name='more'></a>The definition as seen on, <a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/advocate">http://www.thefreedictionary.com/advocate</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="hw" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;">"ad·vo·cate</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"> </span><span class="pron" style="background-color: white; border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 158, 131); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; font-family: Arial;">(<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/abreve.gif" />d<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/prime.gif" />v<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/schwa.gif" />-k<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/amacr.gif" />t<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/lprime.gif" />)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>tr.v.</i> <b>ad·vo·cat·ed</b>, <b>ad·vo·cat·ing</b>, <b>ad·vo·cates</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">To speak, plead, or argue in favor of. See Synonyms at <a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/support" style="color: #645e7d;">support</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>n.</i> <span class="pron" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 158, 131); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; cursor: pointer;">(-k<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ibreve.gif" />t, -k<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/amacr.gif" />t<img align="absbottom" src="http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/lprime.gif" />)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>1. </b>One that argues for a cause; a supporter or defender: <span class="illustration" style="color: #226699; font-style: italic;">an advocate of civil rights.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>2. </b>One that pleads in another's behalf; an intercessor: <span class="illustration" style="color: #226699; font-style: italic;">advocates for abused children and spouses.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>3. </b>A lawyer."</span></div>
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I think based on this definition there is an advocate in all of us. Some of us are advocates for our child, like myself. I'm not a quiet sit back and let people figure it out on their own type of person. I talk about Autism. I want people to know about it, I want them to understand it. <b>I can be downright loud about it. </b> With my pushing our school now has a sensory room, among other things, in a central location for any child in need. Something that my son uses daily.<br />
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Some people are advocates for a specific health issue, trying to get more information out to the community or to raise funds. You see this in fundraisers, walks, 5K runs, awareness months/days, etc .. This helps not only those who are currently diagnosed with whatever the cause is, but the knowledge may help a person who is suffering find help. Or new studies may happen. I personally have donated to many such causes to help support those I know and love. Even $10 or sharing an event on Facebook can raise awareness.<br />
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There are also those who are advocates to diminish hatred. Those of different ethnic backgrounds, or of a different sexuality than what people consider to be the norm. I wish I could give a hug to all those who are dealing with hatred in this world and make it go away, but we are still a long way from acceptance for all. It gives me hope knowing that everyday there are new people that wake up and realize that their hatred is not only causing pain to those they gear it towards, but also themselves. <br />
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I felt the need to point out that we are all advocates for so many different things in this life. Autism can cause so many different struggles for not only the person diagnosed, but for anyone who may be in contact on a daily basis.. <br />
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Advocacy can start with you! Lets make the world a better place for all of us. I am an advocate for my son at school and in the community trying to help him get his needs met. I am an advocate out in public when people make comments or look confused by what they are seeing. I walk for autism and raise funds that help those in my direct area and beyond, through the <a href="http://www.tommyland.org/" target="_blank">The Tommy Foundation</a>. <br />
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Think outside the box, everyday there is a chance to raise awareness and be an advocate to help those in the community around us and beyond. This has been an especially difficult year for my family, but I finally feel like things have come together in ways I could have never imagined. <br />
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One last thought, passed to me through a beloved family member. Anger must be controlled. Showing anger feeds those who oppose us, or even worse yet can shut people down and make them stop listening. <u>We want people to hear what we have to say. I</u> know that sometimes things can get heated, I've been there and I've had people make a judgment call that I was no longer worth listening to. Sometimes we need to step back for just a moment in time to see the whole picture. Read the person we are trying to teach as to how best approach them,maybe they have hurt also. And sometimes we just need to walk away from some who are just not ready at this time. Sometimes we need to accept that we can't always agree.<br />
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And if you are a person filled with hatred I ask you this. Is it really fulfilling a need in your life to hold on to that? Are you willing today to try and find your true self and be open to accepting or learning about something new? How about sharing a cause you never have before? <br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now I ask you! </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What cause are you trying to teach the world about? </span></div>
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Christy Arlenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572797438434722387.post-27536034501818599802013-04-09T00:35:00.001-04:002016-02-08T12:34:39.418-05:0012 Surprises Living with a Child on the Autism Spectrum<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;">The
word Autism is everywhere!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Five years
ago, my now 9-year-old son was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No textbook definition could truly portray
what a family living with Autism goes through. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span class="ssens">Picture yourself on the most
exhilarating roller coaster ride of your life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Autism is exactly that, an emotional roller coaster with sudden twists
and turns, the highest highs and lows you could never prepare for.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;">The
following are the most difficult and rewarding surprises I’ve encountered on
this journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;"><b>#1
-</b> The diagnosis process is a very grueling and lonely time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From very early on, I knew something was different
about my son. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was no surprise the day
he was diagnosed, and I was ready for the help. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not true for every family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many go through a grieving or denial stage,
much like you would when dealing with death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You may feel alone and some of those closest to you may not be your
biggest supporters through this time, but most eventually become accepting after
they process through this life altering diagnosis.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;"><b>#2
-</b> Evaluations can be an extremely frustrating road, with a lot of waiting and
stacks of forms to fill out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of
the most highly-recommended Specialists have a wait list of over a year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;"><b>#3
–</b> It will get harder before it gets better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Through Wrap Around services (in home and community, one-to-one therapy),
my family learned how to deal with the behaviors my son exhibited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As he fought the changes and his behaviors
got much worse, his therapist supported me as we implemented new rules for
behavior modification. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually, he
learned the skills needed at the time and the results were well worth the fight.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"><b>#4
</b>– Autism should never be used as an excuse.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Prior to diagnosis, I never knew how to punish my son’s unacceptable
behavior.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">I treated him different from
my other children. </span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">I </span></span><span style="line-height: 32px;">wasn't</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> sure what he
understood.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Looking back, it was a big
mistake to let him have that kind of control, but it was fixable through the
behavior modifications.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;">Surprise
<b>#5</b> - I learned to be okay with crying. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
fact, it has made me stronger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The most frustrating
moments often lead to huge breakthroughs for my son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It gets hard sometimes, but I know if I don’t
push him to learn new skills he will not be the best he can be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"><b>#6</b>
- The simplest achievements are the most rewarding.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">When my son made it through playing his
clarinet in the school concert, I was tearing up.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Big crowds, loud noises, and new experiences can
send him into shutdown mode.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">He showed
himself that he could do it.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="line-height: 32px;">I've</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> come
to appreciate all those simple things, and use these moments to reinforce to
him how great he has done. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"><b>#7</b>
– <span style="color: #38761d;">What others think really </span></span></span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="color: #38761d;">doesn't</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="color: #38761d;"> matter, people say this all the time, but the
reality is most of us crave acceptance.</span> </span><span style="line-height: 32px;">I've</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> had to get over some embarrassing
moments.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">My son has had his share of melt-downs
in public -- sometimes in front of large crowds and people I know.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">I need to be able to react to the moment and
not focus on those around me.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">This is
when my son needs me the most, not my ego.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">Sometimes grown people will comment or give looks when these things
occur.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">In my opinion, they are acting
out of ignorance and unintentionally being emotional abusive towards my child.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">It’s not in my child’s best interest to react
to these insults in front of him.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">I will
not keep my child home to avoid these moments.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">He needs and deserves to learn how to act in public, regardless of how
many times it takes him to learn.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">These
moments pass.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">With Therapy and coaching,
my son has mastered many new skills and that’s what is most important.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;"><b>#8</b>
– There is a wealth of information and friends available to families in most
every type of situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am amazed at
the number of supportive friends I have made through autism. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those families, who understand and live
through some of the same struggles, are not only a shoulder to lean on, but
also a wealth of information when we have gone through new trials.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am blessed by those I have gotten to know
because of my son’s Autism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;"><b>#9</b>
– Autism is not all bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My son is
creative, funny, and intelligent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
not that this comes as a big surprise to me, but his autism makes him
special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <u><b> </b></u></span><u><b>Let me say it again, it’s not
all bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b></u>It’s not all scary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the gifts he’s received along with
Autism are downright amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
ability to see things differently is special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His ability to focus on a specific subject, even when all the other kids
want to talk to each other, is a gift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His vast vocabulary exceeds many adults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>These among many skills will serve him well one day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;"><b>#10</b>
- I never knew I could be so strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There have been ups and downs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
things get hard and I’ve had to fight to get what I think is right, I’ve done
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being an advocate for my son is
something I never pictured myself strong enough to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I’m doing it and I think I am doing it
well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;"><b>#11</b>
- Autism affects our entire family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
is one of the toughest parts, one I was not prepared to deal with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We love all our children equally, but our
child on the Autism Spectrum certainly takes more time in phone calls,
appointments, and in preparing him to be an adult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There have been times when we have had to
leave places; this can be sad and frustrating for siblings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reality is that life isn’t always fair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In our family, we try to take date nights
with each child alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We discuss any
frustrations we know they are having. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We do our best not to focus on autism all day
every day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;"><b>#12</b>
- I was hugely surprised four years after his diagnosis when I finally went
through being angry at Autism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until
that moment, I was not bothered by the typical stemming (for example, spinning,
flapping) my son would do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry
at everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry at the silly
way my son sometimes walked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry
about him not being able to tell me what was wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry that I had to keep going to
meetings at the school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <span style="color: #4c1130;"> </span></span><span style="color: #4c1130;">I was angry at
being angry.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #4c1130;"> </span> </span>I felt like a terrible
parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking back, I know it was a
normal reaction and it was just a short blip in time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wouldn’t want those feelings to come back,
but I have grown in ways that I can’t even express.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 200%;">Lastly,
I wanted to add that finding me, taking time to be me has been a great
release.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started writing in journals
and private blogs about my feelings and it helped bring ME out, which in turn
has helped my family to become closer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As
autism is a life-long disability, I am sure new surprises will pop-up, but I
have high aspirations for my son.</span> <span style="font-size: small;">I know
he will be able to live a full life and someday, hopefully, he have his own
little family.</span> There are positives with
the negatives and everything is about how you choose to let it rule your day. </span><span style="font-family: "microsoft sans serif" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<em><b><u> Please if this has helped you in anyway as a parent, person with an autism spectrum disorder, or just becoming more autism aware, show some love and leave a comment. </u></b></em></div>
Christy Arlenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572797438434722387.post-34648803175669762002012-05-10T06:44:00.001-04:002013-07-09T19:08:28.717-04:00The Wind Blows<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: #ffff90; font-family: Chewy; font-size: xx-small; text-align: -webkit-auto;">By: </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618" style="background-color: #ffff90; color: blue; font-family: Chewy; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-auto;" target="_blank">C.A.K.</a>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Truly amazing how quickly everything can change. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Being sure one moment of where I am going,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">the winds pick up and nothing is sure anymore. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Wind blow both ways,</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">some moments can feel like a cyclone twirling,<br />Unsure where it will stop.<br /><br />The next moment frustration<br />nothing feels right<br /><br />Then it happens<br />a gust,<br />now feeling the most positive glow of life<br /><br />Trusting God,<br />all the storms of life<br />lead to something most awesome!<br /></span></div>
Christy Arlenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572797438434722387.post-72170028038642653972012-02-11T12:47:00.001-05:002012-02-11T12:47:52.777-05:00A special Kind of YOU<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: #ffff90; font-family: Chewy; font-size: xx-small; text-align: -webkit-auto;">By: </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618" style="background-color: #ffff90; color: #959595; font-family: Chewy; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-auto; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">C.A.K.</a><span style="background-color: #ffff90; font-family: Chewy; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><br />
<br />
God made you special. <br />
He wired you different.<br />
You understand big words and numbers that most will never. <br />
And yes sometimes you may shut down. <br />
But you overcome.<br />
Your so special just the way you are. <br />
Your way of showing love to those who are sad,<br />
is something amazing and all wish they had. <br />
It makes you special, because you are YOU!<br />
So what that the crowds stress you to high levels,<br />
You'll amaze those talkers forever.<br />
You're honest and straightforward<br />
Lord knows your a giver.<br />
You follow the rules and never give in to those cheaters<br />
You follow what you think is right,<br />
no matter the cost to your social light<br />
God made you special<br />
For us all to see.<br />
I'd never trade you for one less unique.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>Christy Arlenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572797438434722387.post-70028342540938618422011-12-01T21:27:00.000-05:002013-07-10T08:50:10.006-04:00Not So Silent in the room.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">by: <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618" target="_blank">C.A.K.</a></span><br />
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<span style="text-align: left;">12/01/2011</span></div>
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Christy Arlenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05297458041420425618noreply@blogger.com5